Baby-faced boy is father at 13

[HyeMew]

he added: “I think we’ll be good parents. I’ll have to work extra hard at school.”

Because that translates into making money for the baby...?

I'm all for people staying together and raising a baby, but this is just like... come on. It is literally sickening. It just seems like make believe for them to even attempt to play parents to this baby. If he was 13 that'd be one thing, but I swear he isn't. He can't be. 13 year olds DON'T look like that. Before this story goes any further a DNA test is needed. Even if he turns out to be the father, this whole thing is still a mockery. It's nothing short of a pathetic freak show and I feel so terrible that 1. This is a life we are talking about, not something fake and 2. So many deserving people can't have children and yet all the time around us we see so many undeserving idiots who do. I can imagine the frustration it causes is staggering.

Alfie lives with mum Nicola, 43, in a £395,000 detached home in nearby Hailsham.
A cheeky message in the window reads: “I am horny.”

Umm... wtf??? I have no idea what that means. Well yes I know what it means, but what?! They have a sign?? In the window?? That says THAT?! Is this just to add to the reprehensibility of this whole story? Why did they go public to begin with? What are they trying to get besides notoriety? If you are willing to publicly shame yourself like that then there is certainly plenty of room to make money and get attention, but come on. Last year some idiots who said they had bigfoot in a freezer got their 15 minutes and guess what, it turned out to be fake. A 15 year old girl having a child is NOT newsworthy. It is the fact they are claiming the father was 12 at the time and most certainly looks under 10 IS. This lone fact is EASILY falsifiable and I personally think the press owes it to us to get that fact confirmed or not reported on. Sadly the press is a sideshow in itself and reports endlessly on far too many pointless things regardless of it being newsworthy. While it is impossible to get a DNA test without the family's permission, is it possible to at least investigate the kid and verify he is actually 13 (what grade is he in at school for example)? Hell I'd be curious just to know that because there is no way... The fact that he is four feet tall is often mentioned but nothing more is made of it except that he so young. The average 13 year old is in the lower to mid 5 foot range. So he either has a growth problem or his age is a lie, but you can also tell that he does not have the "maturity" of a 13 year old as well (yes I say that in quotes because I recognize the absurdity of talking about the maturity of a 13 year old, but you get what I mean. The way he acts seems to match his height).

Wow the "father"'s mom looks extremely creepy. The 15 year old mother looks creepy. The whole thing is creepy.

Penny also dismissed a neighbour’s allegations that she had let THREE other boys stay overnight with Chantelle.
Sean Thomas, 20, claimed: “She is not a young innocent girl who got pregnant with the first boy who came along.”
Furious Penny hit back: “It’s rubbish. Chantelle lost her virginity to Alfie.”

Haha is anyone surprised...? Anyone...? At least this article is finally getting somewhere. It is clear this mom Penny is trying to maintain an illusion. How can she so stalwartly maintain this fact when she didn't even know the daughter and this Alfie were having "sex" (once, according to the story). So you didn't know about this Alfie, but now you are sure the daughter lost her virginity to him?

Another family friend, 28-year-old David Lee, said: “I am really shocked. I didn’t know anything about it. I was only round there two weeks ago playing Xbox games with him. “He didn’t say anything. You would think being a few days away from being a dad he might have mentioned it.”

Makes you wonder if he knew then. When exactly did they decide he was the father, etc.? It is possible he didn't even know at the time while the other family concocted the plan to name him the father to get press.

[elixir]

Alfie lives with mum Nicola, 43, in a £395,000 detached home in nearby Hailsham.
A cheeky message in the window reads: “I am horny.”

Umm... wtf??? I have no idea what that means. Well yes I know what it means, but what?! They have a sign?? In the window?? That says THAT?! Is this just to add to the reprehensibility of this whole story? Why did they go public to begin with? What are they trying to get besides notoriety?

Oh Hye, I laughed out loud at this. I totally agree. What the hell??!! I know the Sun is not very reputable, but some of the things they mention in their articles are just bizarre even for them... However, if it really is in the window - who are these people??!!

Wow the "father"'s mom looks extremely creepy. The 15 year old mother looks creepy. The whole thing is creepy.

Well that answers my above question. That mum looks extremely scary!

Also, don't forget that Alfie could easily pass as Damian.

[elixir]

There are now other teenage boys claiming that the baby could be theirs:

News of the World article

News Blog

"...amazingly the News Of The World has uncovered claims that Chantelle was sleeping with as many as EIGHT teenage boys around the time the baby was conceived on the Old Town estate in Eastbourne, Sussex."

[milowent]

from elixir's second link:

The paternity dispute has prompted one poster on the News of the World's website to mischievously suggest: "Anyone else think this could turn out like the scene in Spartacus where they all claim to be him. Lots of 13- to 16-year-olds standing up claiming i'm the Daddy!" [I love that comments from the other paper's story on the web get elevated to being in this article]

You might wonder why these other boys are suddenly so keen to take on responsibility for a baby. But if today's Independent on Sunday is correct, there's a fortune to be made from the story, with "at least 15 television companies locked in a fierce battle to make a documentary" about the story and media experts estimating Alfie "could earn up to half a million pounds".

Let's just hope this doesn't prompt a wave of copycat pregancies as 11 and 12 year olds across the country try to cash in.

not sure, but it seems that alfie was the richest and 'nicest' of the bunch, so chantelle simply claimed he was the father.

[robtomorrow]

from elixir's second link:

Let's just hope this doesn't prompt a wave of copycat pregancies as 11 and 12 year olds across the country try to cash in.

By my calculations the Alfie/Chantelle Effect will be exactly canceled out by the Natalie Dylan Effect.

[elixir]

not sure, but it seems that alfie was the richest and 'nicest' of the bunch, so chantelle simply claimed he was the father.

I don't think he's the richest at all, but certainly the most naive. And his family seem to be very broken and careless. The boy looks like he gets neglected. It wouldn't surprise me if the mum has an addiction or something and is never in the picture really, and we already have been told the dad isn't in the picture. I think Chantelle's family saw an easy target, and hey, they've gone to the press with it - so they may have been thinking about the sensationalism and chance to make a buck the whole time.

[milowent]

Teen mum: I love only Alfie (Metro, Feb 16, 2009)

The girlfriend of 13-year-old 'babyfather' [lol] Alfie Patten has denied sleeping with anyone else - despite other teenagers claiming they could be the father of her newborn baby.

Chantelle Steadman insisted there had been "no one else", declaring: "I love Alfie."

She tearfully denied claims by 16-year-old Richard Goodsell and 14-year-old Tyler Barker that either one might be the father of week-old baby Maisie - dismissing them as 'stupid boys' who are 'lying'.

Schoolboy father: Alfie Patten 'distraught' at claims Maisie not his (Telegraph, Feb. 16, 2009)

Max Clifford, the publicist who is representing Alfie and his family, said: "Nicola has agreed that DNA tests are the best way to resolve the issue of paternity.

"It is inevitable there are going to be doubts, particularly with the number of boys who've come forward claiming to have had sex with Chantelle.

"There is one boy in particular who does seem to have a stronger resemblance to the child." [note, this is alfie's publicist -- so .... alfie (1) has a publicist??!! and (2) this publicist sucks, because even he is admitting the baby looks a lot like one of the other possible fathers?

[HyeMew]

"Max Clifford, fresh off a stint with the company EQAL, was hired by the Patten family to..."

Seriously though, I have zero sympathy for that girl. Wow how pathetic (and of course juvenile, which she is) to just cry and say those other boys are stupid and lying. It is almost funny except that it is real and so clearly not funny, and thereby just pathetic. She seems to be in wishful-thinking mode where she is covering her ears and going "LALALALA I LOVE ALFIE" as a way of avoiding the harsh reality that she fooled around, got pregnant by some guy that doesn't mean anything to her, and now she's stuck with her child. Clearly she saw Alfie as a less objectionable option as father than one of those actual candidates so she convinced him that whatever they did qualified as sex and now he's magically the father. This is just like the paternity tests on Maury when the girl pegs some guy as the father and either she's wrong and he jumps up and down dancing and rubs it in her face while she runs away crying, or it turns out the ingrate is the father and she similarly runs away crying because she can't believe the guy she wanted to be wasn't the father and instead she reproduced with this loser.

With girls getting mature earlier every generation who often come from broken homes and engage in overly risky behavior far beyond their maturity level these things happen. Sadly these things which come out of just one night or just one missed pill stay with you forever. At my 5 year high school reunion I found out this annoying girl from class who was obviously "slow" had gotten pregnant in the intervening years and was now a mother. The father wasn't in the picture, a clear case of a naive and extremely "slow" girl (not retarded, but I am sorry to say not a long way off either) getting used by some guy who just wanted sex and now she's stuck with a child for life while who knows From what it sounded like this father was never in the picture, could have even been a one night thing. It really disturbed me to know end to think about her, that she had a child, and what must have led to that situation unfolding. This Alfie story is unfortunately replayed in this situation in my hometown and in towns all across the country- there is absolutely nothing about it which deserved the press it got. The only reason it did was because the father looked 8 and when the DNA test comes out revealing SHOCKER that Alfie is not the father everyone who doesn't already realize it will see that this story is just another one of these thousands. The Sun should be ashamed it went to the extent of making this a front page story (people in my office were talking about it on Friday so it also hit the news in America) without simple investigation. Then again it is a tabloid so I think by design they are supposed to do the smallest bit of research possible before breaking a story.

The media really is getting sloppy in the past few years, not that I know all that much about it a decade or two ago to compare. Don't let the facts get in the way of a good story. There is this woman making the rounds of news shows who has been dubbed the "Babe-raham Lincoln". According to the media this long lost descendant of Abraham Lincoln has suddenly emerged just in time for his 200th birthday as a dancer for the New Jersey Nets basketball team and has a real piece of the log cabin he was born in to prove it (which she holds with her on the shows). It is possibly the worst news story, ever. What's so awful about it is that not even SHE claims to be an actual direct descendant of the president (and a quick google will reveal that the last one died in 1985). She always says that they share a common ancestor in 1600s England and because they are both in the male line happen to have the same last name. All sorts of news outlets like Fox News who had her on have taken this to mean she is Lincoln's "direct descendant" and treat her like a representative of his family. Having a common ancestor from the 1600s means absolutely nothing genealogically. It translates to being roughly 10th cousins and is ridiculously insignificant. For example there are millions of people throughout the world who can trace their ancestor to Mayflower pilgrims and as a result the same common 1600s ancestors. Dick Cheney and Obama made news when it was revealed they are related, yes via a common ancestor in the 1600s. This "Babe-raham Lincoln" who is all over the tv and internet (well for a day or two at least), if her claim is true (backed up by nothing more than a piece of wood) is related as closely to Lincoln as most likely millions of others today- the fluke of sharing the same last name is the only thing allowing her to be passed off by the media (and not what she is even claiming!) as his direct descendant.

By the way, what is now passed off as Lincoln's birth cabin has been tested and is made of trees from circa 1848. Not even that is real.

[milowent]

babe-raham lincoln - that's hilarious, hye.

===

Schoolboy father: Alfie Patten may open DNA test results on live television (Telegraph, Feb. 17, 2009)

Mother of schoolboy father Alfie Patten in court over truancy claims (Telegraph, Feb. 17, 2009) (with extremely unflattering pic of ma looking like george carlin in a wig)

13-year-old dad 'doesn't know where his baby is' (Metro, Feb. 17, 2009) (excellent title. well, where did he last put it?)

Daughter Of Thirteen Year Old Already Pregnant (A British Onion-like site, Feb. 17, 2009)

Child parents Alfie and Chantelle are said to be delighted at the news that they are already to be grandparents. It is thought that Maisie, 0, found out about the pregnancy after a particularly carefree night involving cheap cider and a succession of local teenage penises.

It is not clear at this stage how Maisie will support the child financially, but baby faced child grandad to be Alfie has requested more pocket money.

A shocked local said, "I'm shocked", though another was far from surprised saying, "Maisie has earned quite a reputation as a slut on the estate already."

Newspaper message boards were flooded within minutes of the news breaking, with the common feeling being that it was just another example of 'Broken Britain', with one man managing to link the situation to Gordon Brown, immigrants, and terrorists in one sentence. [i am crying laughing from that line.]

Maisie's local MP added, "We are forever hearing about the teen pregnancy rate in Britain being the highest in Europe, but how many babies are left behind by the system because they don't fit into that statistic?

[HyeMew]

Article's conclusion:

Meanwhile, followers of the story on YouTube declared the whole case 'gay'.

Also, for fun check out: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.p ... %20lincoln (turns out it is from Wayne & Garth!)